Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Disappointments and Friends

Disappointments - how does one deal with it? Is it worth being dealt upon? How does one overcome it? How can it be prevented? Why is it most often than not, associated with anger and frustrations?

One gets to be disappointed when one expects. Right.

There are different degrees of disappointments but the most unmanageable of all is when you get to be dismayed by a behavior of a person whom you regard highly. Its as if he/she showed you a facet of his/her personality in his/her unguarded moment, and there! You see the real him/her all of a sudden. It's as if you were fooled! The good picture that you so painstakingly formed with prudence, all through out the days that you think is long enough for you to know the person, suddenly got disfigured, that all his other good traits were overshadowed and that minute 'inconsistency' in his/her personality got superimposed.

Is there any logic in it? Are all of us like that to others - projecting one kind of personality and hiding the other, most usually, much worse one? It makes one doubt even the benefit of the doubt. It is easier to say that in order not to be disappointed, do not expect. However, this is not only hard, but impossible. It is just like a child who elicited a promise from his/her father/mother, candies and when he/she comes home, and when the father/mother arrives, he/she did not fulfill his promise when in fact he/she said yes to it. The child is made to understand and when he/she cannot, the fault is blamed on her. if she/he pouts or sulks, he/she becomes the antagonist in the story because she/he should have understood his father's reasons are valid.

If only it's as easy as that. If only each damage that is done is equivalent to a candy. But it's not, what's worse is, if one gets to be disappointed more than once, it's a slow but sure lost of faith and conviction to the source of disappointment. The child will get used to it. She'll not pout nor sulk anymore but in his/her heart mounts each and every incident that she/he was disillusioned. She might not believe in the person anymore.


Friends. They are one of my favorite subjects. Let me share and segregate the different kinds of friends - female or male (married or not married, straight femmes or males or not) lol!

The female classification belong to the species with the following criteria:

a. Their anatomy should be congruent with yours, even if sometimes, their heart is as confused as yours;
b. They are not male in physicality, emotions and mentality;
c. You can talk to them freely about any topics that you like without thinking that you might be misinterpreted;
d. They are honest with you (although sometimes they still have secrets but you will eventually know those anyway);
e. They run to you for advice regardless of your age and theirs;
f. They are a blessing to you (know why?);
g. They regard you as a blessing to them

The male classification on the other hand, belong to the species with the following criteria:

a. Some have an anatomy different from yours, some have an anatomy similar with yours, but regard it as a trap;
b. They do not think like you do, that is why you are interested to hear their opinion because of their premise;
c. They can get bossy, arrogant, chauvinist, but still you would entertain them anyway (oh I have disposed some of them already, thank God);
d. They could really prove to be a real pain in the neck (and in the ass), a certified moron, or one hell of a mistake!

Anyways, no matter how biased these categories or descriptions are, we all need friends. 'No man is an island' However, if one turns out to be jewel or a gem and the other proves to be a load to carry, it is fine, so long as we know the difference. There will be days that people will walk into your life who would not be satisfied to be just a friend or in what you can just offer. Pray, that when the right people comes, even if they fall under the categories mentioned above, we should not regret the fact that we, too, are not just satisfied to be one's friend.

I may have been disappointed so many times with some people but this does not stop me from looking for real friends. It is just a phase in one's life. Maybe I have stopped fighting for these people not because I am a coward but because I realized and discovered that they are not worth fighting for. Although I still wish them well.